I know you know THE ONE. Your favorite writer has it, that hilarious bitch. That girl on Twitter whose tweets are just so.friggin'.smart. That Instagrammer whose captions are like reading little love letters full of SO MUCH TRUTH AND GOODNESS. That thought leader whose posts you read immediately, whose books you pre-order like whoa, and whose entire website you'd like to tongue. And maaaaaybe even that company with the creative product descriptions that make you sweat and swivel and swoon (in that order).
Whether you're writing blog posts, headlines, subject lines, Instagram captions, tweets, product descriptions, sales pages, website copy, ad copy, text messages, bullet points, or your mother's tombstone, you'll learn how to transform drab, dull, tired, cliché, totally meh-meh-blah writing into fun, sticky, creative-cool, wow-factor content you'll want to parade around like a tiara (and that others will want to print out, lick and and share).
We all write in micro, these days—which means we all need to learn how to write with microstyle. Snappy, witty, brilliant, bright. We have less time, and even less space, to say something in a way that's engaging and compelling and weird and wonderful and brilliant and sticky and memorable and HOT. Micromessages live or die by the tiniest stylistic choices, all of which come together to form your VOICE. Your voice is the attitude of your words: and it's also the image you project online—so it's *Grand Canyon level* important. Writing used to be a special occasion reserved for letters to your bank ("Dear Sir or Madam—this is my serious professional voice"): now, it’s an everyday sport. (Sort of like pickleball. Have you ever heard of pickleball? I APOLOGIZE IN ADVANCE.) Today, everyone’s a writer. In fact, your fingers are on a keyboard 80% of the day. But, is it pleasurable to read? (Hint: Creative writing is about creating *pleasure*.)
Cue fourteen trumpets! (Trumpets, not crumpets. Unless we're talking about Tastykake's Butterscotch Krimpets, in which case, there will be *plenty* of those.)
AS I WAS SAYING. I'm thirteen-year-old-going-to-her-first-dance excited to be offering this special edition workshop, Creative Writing for the Internet, in which I teach my top eight (8) favorite creative writing techniques, hacks, edits, tweaks and transformations to instantly give your online content a supercharged sugar rush, assuming your website isn't one of those overachievers on a no-sugar diet. We'll even be live-editing a select piece of sample copy—a snoozy-by-design About Page!—so you can see how this works in real-time, not just theory—and you'll be doing some live workshopping of your own too—muahaha.
Bye-bye to feeling like a lame duck on the Internet whose sentences read like a 1980's Howdy Doody commercial, and hello to becoming a modern-day content queen whose line breaks bring ALL the buyers to the yard.
“Ash, your workshop was BRILLIANT, one of the best trainings I've ever done. Before the workshop, I wasn't confident on how to mix being funny with being sincere and genuine. SPOILER ALERT: By the time those magical hours were over, I knew how to do this with EASE (one of my key values). I fancied myself a pretty okay creative writer before the workshop, but your immediately implementable mini-lessons upped my game to some next level shit. Now? I have the techniques (and plenty of permission) to be all of me, not just the part of me that can be worked into whatever quirky/funny point I'm trying to make. Thank you, you legend. I pity the fool who spends a second questioning whether this workshop isn't worth every cent and every minute of their time.”Michelle Grixti
“YOUR WORKSHOP WAS THE POLAR BEAR PLUNGE I NEEDED TO KICK OFF 2019!!!!!!! I may need to beg mercy from my readers for 92.5% of the writing I've ever done. Especially the last article where I didn't "finish them off" (if you know what I mean…) the way a good girlfriend should. Thank youuuuuuuuuuuu!”Carolyn Herfurth
“I loved the creative writing workshop so much! I've been watching bits of it again and again every day. I just want to absorb every ounce of glitter lung, chicken-dripping juice you dished out!”Keli Chevalier
“IT WAS FUCKING AWESOME, ARE YOU KIDDING ME. And worth so much more than I paid—just like everything you do, Ash.”Jenn Whinnem
“The creative writing workshop was one of the most inspirational and usable seminars I've ever taken, online or off.”Jane Breheney
“The creative writing workshop made me so happy that I was in tears, which I think came from the realization that creative editing is a thing and that I love doing it. Your workshop helped me discover that my sales page was chock-full of summary words, and that it didn't really contain my spunky voice. I've been working on it ever since and feel so much better about it now. I LIKE reading it because it's a better reflection of me. The creative editing process has been so fun and enlivening!”Christina Marlett
“I absolutely LOVED the creative writing workshop!!!! Thank you for this amazing content and all these awesome ideas. It was SO rich!”Leona Reading
“Ooooo the creative writing workshop was. so. amazing. It reignited my writing like a fire-breathing fuchsia and purple-scaled dragon. Your workshop made the writing process FUN again. My wrists have been cramping up pretty hard this week from all the writing I've been doing. Also, I'm just so obsessed with the words GLITTER LUNG now. ”Krista Kankula
“Just wanted to shoot over a note to let you know how much I enjoyed the workshop and that I'm currently rethinking every copy decision I've ever made. (Just very grateful I have never said, "Welcome to my digital home!" Small victories.) I will be singing your praises to all of my Internet-friends!!”Cami Miller
The "OMG That's So _______!" The Holy Grail of Sticky, Sharable, To-Die-For Internet Content
How to Break the Fourth Wall (And Immediately Make Your Writing Less Stiff + Stuffy—And Way More Fun to Read)
My #1 Creative Editing Principle of: "A Chicken in Every Pot, and a Car in Every Garage" (This One Alone is Worth It, So Help Me Rihanna)
Never Call a Stomach a Tummy Without Good Reason—And Other Must-Know Rules on Creative Word Choice
Humor + The Science of What Makes Something Funny (And How You Can Apply It to Any Sentence Immediately)
The "Glitter Lung" Technique + How to Hack a Reader's Attention Span Exactly Like Glinda the Good Witch
The Writing Culture of the Internet—And How to Modernize Your Content So You Don't Sound Like the Human Equivalent of an Out-of-Date Fax Machine, Model Number Before Christ
How to Va-Va-Voom Your Ending + Big, Glitzy Takeaway (One of The Most Important Components of Writing Sticky Content for the Internet That Doesn't Flatline and Take Your Pride Down With It)
- Reason One: If content is king, this is the king's viagra.
- Reason Two: You sorta flinch-laughed at that last sentence but you also were like, "HAHA, YES."
- Reason Three: You wish you were one of those clever people who always seem to have great headlines and captions and blog posts and ALL THE THINGS THAT GIVE YOU SECRET JEALOUSIES.
- Reason Four: Writing secretly turns you on.
- Reason Five: Buttttt at the same time, you're a little deer in the headlights.
- Reason Six: ...And writing has turned into a chore.
- Reason Seven: You want to enjoy creating